Consultants in Action – Do we really look like this??

The other day, I was putting together a PowerPoint deck to talk to some senior level directors from both the lines of business and from corporate IT. As I was going through some stock photos and ClipArt to embed into the slides (you know, to ‘Jazz’ things up), I slowly realized something: Business-related pictures are just so goofy looking!

So I thought I’d scour the wonderful land of Google and put up a few images that come back from the keyword ‘Consulting’. Let’s take a look, shall we?

I’m guessing most of you have already seen this beauty. How I love the folks from Despair Inc. I’m sure I spewed coffee all over my laptop the first time I saw this. This one’s a classic.

Now, who thought this was a good idea? Some guy in a suit shaking hands with…well, just an arm. That’s just creepy. I’m guessing the consultant’s the guy on the left since he’s the one smiling. The guy on the right must not like him well enough to invite him inside or to take the extra effort and step out of his office. Either way, I think its a terrible picture.

OK – If you haven’t noticed by now, apparently the universal symbol for consulting is two arms reaching for each other, in most cases to shake hands. However I saw this photo and thought: “Wow, when was the last time I played with a jigsaw puzzle?”. I think it was probably 25 years ago. I get what they’re trying to say in the context, but seriously? Somethings are better left unsaid, or rather not photographed.

Did I mention that the second most universal symbol for consulting is a bunch of people huddled around a conference table all eyes glazed on a printed document? Well apparently it is! I love this photo for the sheer reasons that these have to be some of the most beautiful looking consultants I have ever seen. Talk about photogenic! If the woman on the right is single and available, email me – I think I’m in love.

Exercising @ 10,000 feet

So you’re finally in the air after waiting an hour on the tarmac. As you’re about to settle in for a nice 4 hour flight, you realize you missed your workout yesterday because you were too busy nursing that hangover from the night before. Your food options for the next 4 days will probably consist of vending machine drinks and snacks, and whatever fast food chain is open after you get out of the client site. What can you do to get your blood flowing now to help make up for the rest of the week? Here are some ideas:

1. Heel and calf raises: Sit up straight, and keep your shoulders back. Lift up your heels for 2-3 seconds with your toes planted firmly, and then drop your heels back down. Repeat 15-20 times. Next lift up your toes keeping your heel firmly planted. Hold for 2-3 seconds then bring them down. Repeat 15-20 times. If you want some extra resistance, place your carry-on on your lap as you do these exercises.
2. Knee raises: With nothing in your lap, bring your knees towards your chest and try to hold for 5-10 seconds. Then bring them down again. Repeat 15-20 times.
3. Before or after the beverage cart has made its way through, get up and take a walk up and down the aisles. Be careful of people heading to the bathroom, or that US Air Marshall keeping an eye out for strange behavior.
4. Stretch out your torso by leaning forward and turning your body to the right, holding for 2-3 seconds, then turning to the left for another 2-3 seconds. Roll your ankles, wrists, and neck to ease your muscles and help relieve stress and stiffness from waiting in the security line so long.

Frequent Travel Programs – a Perk or a Necessity?

I figure, what better way to kick off a blog about the consulting lifestyle than to talk about frequent travel programs? For those of us who spend 80-90% of our professional life on the road, this is probably one of the most widely talked about topics amongst us, and one of the most widely misunderstood topics amongst those who don’t travel.

As someone who has accumulated his share of status on at least 4 major airlines and hotel chains, it stills amazes me when people start to talk about how lucky we must be to have accumulated all of those points and perks every year. Let’s take a quick look at some of those perks they’re talking about, shall we?

• Airline status that allows us to board first
• Airline status that allows us to get priority in stand-by situations
• Airline status that allows us to get upgrades from economy
• Airline miles that can be redeemed for round trip tickets
• Hotel status that allows us to make guaranteed same-day reservations
• Hotel status that allows us to get room upgrades and free bottles of water
• Hotel points that can be redeemed for free night

Sure these all seem like fantastic perks worthy of some oohs and ahhs at face value. However let’s revisit that same list in context of a typical travel work week for a consultant:

• Since most business travel is done early Monday morning – late afternoon/evening Thursday, we find ourselves traveling with other road warriors with status. And since most of us haven’t checked a bag since we first started the job, we’re all still fighting for the same overhead bin space. The only exception is when you find yourself going to podunk-town in middle America by yourself, in which case you have worse problems than worrying about luggage space.
• Usually the only times we fly stand-by is because we’re on a last-minute flight to the client on a Sunday evening because they just signed the statement of work and want you there by 8am Monday.
• Ok, I admit that flight upgrades are nice…
• Redeeming miles for free tickets is a great concept when talking about vacation travel. When was the last time you took a vacation?
• Guaranteed Same day reservations – see flying stand-by…
• Room upgrades are nice, and cold bottled water tastes like champagne after you’ve been stuck in a plane for 4 hours while waiting on the runway for 3 of those hours sitting next to Chit-Chat Cathy.
• Redeeming points for free hotel stays – again, when was the last time you took a vacation?

So as it stands, most of the so-called perks actually end up being valued as necessities. The only real way to take advantage of some of these programs is to make sure you actually leverage your vacation and holiday time wisely, and that is a whole other discussion.

Welcome fellow roadwarriors

Hi, my name’s David Pembata and I’m an IT Management consultant currently working in the Midwest. As a 10 year veteran in the industry, I’ve worn many hats throughout the years, including Project Manager (PM), Business Analyst (BA), and Technical Analyst (TA).

Over the next several thousand characters, you’ll read about my experience living the dream(!?) that is the consulting lifestyle. Hopefully we can share some useful tips and tricks to help regain some of that work-life balance we keep hearing about.

This blog is NOT intended to cover the business of consulting. You will not read about the latest firm mergers and acquisitions, nor will you read about the latest best practices being sold to the highest bidder.

No, this is about the consultant lifestyle, and how to make the most of it.

Welcome to my life…Welcome to our life…